During an online festival held in the lockdown, filmmakers were invited to produce a videographic carte blanche. What began as a commissioned format turned into a fully-fledged video essay — and also into a deeply intimate testimony. In it, the filmmaker declares that, if she had to do it again, she would not. This stark statement confronts us with a fundamental question: what is the price one must pay to produce artistic and intellectual work, and at what human and existential cost?